Jealous or what?
Music: Radiohead - Creep
I keep making bad choices in life. I try so hard to do the right things and I either fail or I don't get the credit for it. Like yesterday when I went bowling with a couple of friends and the boy I recently tried to date.
After the game ended the boy decided it was the right time to tell me what a WONDERFUL friend I had, She was SO great etc etc. Okey I thought, maybe I'm just a bit uneasy about the situation. We all went out to bar afterwards and he continued to show my friend (who is dating one of our mutual friends and is totally in love with him btw) pictures of his friends and family, his dog and other stuff. Needless to say I didn't get to see those pictures. He then continued by taking my friends picture like a million times. I was quite hurt since well, he told me just before christmas that I'm his second best friend in the world and that he loves me. He didn't take my picture. Not even once. Maybe I'm just jealous but I can't help it. I arranged the evening for his sake, I booked, called friends so that HE could meet them. Instead I just got to feel like I'm not good enough again. Like nothing I ever do will be good enough for him.
The day after christmas I caught him chatting up a girl who didn't seem all that keen on him. He then came up to me and started touching me like a boyfriend would. I told him that he couldn't touch me like that anymore.
I got so hurt. He made me feel like I was only a backup, someone he would take if noone else wanted him. it still makes me feel like crying but I didn't then and I still don't cry about the bloody boy. He's not worth it. The last month or so he has hurt me so much I'm surprised I havent kicked him in the nuts or something yet.
I am humiliated. I feel like I'm a big laughingstock. People tell me that he has been crossing the line a while back and I have to agree. I'm way to nice, way way way to nice.
I keep making bad choices in life. I try so hard to do the right things and I either fail or I don't get the credit for it. Like yesterday when I went bowling with a couple of friends and the boy I recently tried to date.
After the game ended the boy decided it was the right time to tell me what a WONDERFUL friend I had, She was SO great etc etc. Okey I thought, maybe I'm just a bit uneasy about the situation. We all went out to bar afterwards and he continued to show my friend (who is dating one of our mutual friends and is totally in love with him btw) pictures of his friends and family, his dog and other stuff. Needless to say I didn't get to see those pictures. He then continued by taking my friends picture like a million times. I was quite hurt since well, he told me just before christmas that I'm his second best friend in the world and that he loves me. He didn't take my picture. Not even once. Maybe I'm just jealous but I can't help it. I arranged the evening for his sake, I booked, called friends so that HE could meet them. Instead I just got to feel like I'm not good enough again. Like nothing I ever do will be good enough for him.
The day after christmas I caught him chatting up a girl who didn't seem all that keen on him. He then came up to me and started touching me like a boyfriend would. I told him that he couldn't touch me like that anymore.
I got so hurt. He made me feel like I was only a backup, someone he would take if noone else wanted him. it still makes me feel like crying but I didn't then and I still don't cry about the bloody boy. He's not worth it. The last month or so he has hurt me so much I'm surprised I havent kicked him in the nuts or something yet.
I am humiliated. I feel like I'm a big laughingstock. People tell me that he has been crossing the line a while back and I have to agree. I'm way to nice, way way way to nice.
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